Why Self-Love Makes Your Blog Better & Proves Your Haters Wrong [EP 29 The Blog Chronicles]

how do you love yourself

Dani DiPirro is my guest on this episode of The Blog Chronicles…

Dani was not happy working a cubicle job in marketing, and wanted to somehow get out of it.

In 2009, she started a blog while keeping her day job, and worked on building a web audience in her spare time.

By 2012, she was ready to walk away.

She turned in her resignation and has been self employed, doing what she loves, ever since.

On this episode we chronicle Dani’s journey from no blog to successful designer, author, blogger, and internet marketer.

She blogs in the self help niche, and has a lot to say about the topic of self-love, so I asked her how a blogger can over come a self-love deficit and overcome this…the more you love yourself, the better your blog will be.

Tune in to find out why!

Here are some other things you will discover in this interview…

–Why Dani chose the self-help niche

–How to prove your haters wrong

–Some advice to those who feel stuck in a job they hate

–Her favorite forms of content she produces for her blog

–How she became a Designer without paying a fortune in tuition

–How to raise your level of self-love

–How blogging has changed Dani’s life

–And more

If you have any questions or comments for Dani, leave them in the comments! I’ll make sure she gets them.

Enjoy!

 

Dani DiPirro Interview Transcript

( For those who like to read.)

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INTRODUCTION

Matthew Loomis: Hi Dani.

Welcome to The Show!

Dani DiPirro: Hi.

Thank you so much for having me!

What’s the Purpose Of Your Blog Positively Present?

Matthew Loomis: Your blog Positively Present Dot Com was started in 2009.

Your 8th year anniversary of blogging just occurred on February 14th.

Can you share with us what the purpose of your website is?

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Dani DiPirro: The purpose of Positively Present is to help people around the world.

Live more positive more mindful and more self-loving lives.

The goal really was initially to share my personal experiences with struggling with those three things. Being positive being more mindful and being more self-loving.

As it’s grown I’ve learned more about myself and learned more about those topics. It’s my goal to share what I learn and what I personally share with my audience.

What Niche Best Describes Positively Present?

Matthew Loomis: Sounds good.

What niche would you say you’re in?

Dani DiPirro: I would say I guess the self-help.

Explorational Positivity Niche.

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How Did You Become Interested In the Self-Help Positivity Niche?

Matthew Loomis: Right. That would have been my guess.

Self-help that is and positivity that sounds like a pretty cool niche too.

Dani, what drew you to this niche?

Do you have any background in psychology or what drew you to this?

Dani DiPirro: I find psychology interesting.

But I don’t have any background in it professionally or educationally.

What started me on this path is that I was kind of in a low place in my own life back in 2009. I was really struggling with my job with my relationships and with myself.

I just started to realise more and more that it really wasn’t an external problem because anytime I changed something it still didn’t feel right.

That’s when I started to do more research online about happiness and trying to understand how to make your life better.

As I was doing that it began to occur to me that it wasn’t really happiness that I wanted. Ideally, I’d love to be happy all the time. But that’s not really how I work or how most people work.

Happiness to me is an emotion. It’s something that we experience. But it’s usually pretty short lived even if something amazing happens.

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Whereas positivity is more of a mindset, an attitude. Something you can do no matter what.

You can have the worst day of your life and be in the worst situation and still strive to make the most of it. To seek the good in it and to learn something from it.

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And I also really struggled a lot with being present.  I spent a lot of time in the past worrying about either what was going to happen in the future or dwelling on things that had happened in the past that couldn’t be changed.

Wishing I could go back and undo things.

That’s where it really started. I was doing a lot of research and I have always been a writer so I thought why not try and share my experiences with other people.

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Especially because this is not something that comes naturally to me. A lot of people in the self-help space at least appears that it comes naturally to them. I think for certain people it does.

Somebody, for example, is my mother. She’s a very positive person naturally and tries to automatically find the good and make the most of all things.

I personally am not. I have to really work on it. And so I kind of wanted to share that with people because I know I’m not alone in that.

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I know that there are people out there that want to be more positive or want to be more mindful but it doesn’t come reflexively to them.

That was the goal with starting out. I guess it was more from the foundation of me being a writer than it was from a psychology point of view.

Can You Relate To Us How Much Value the Internet Has Presented In Changing Your Life?

Matthew Loomis: I did notice that you are a fellow English major.

Welcome to the club.

You also talk about self-love and we are going to get into that in a little bit.

You brought up kind of a ”dark beginnings” of this blog and I want to start there. You wrote a recent post that stood out to me and you called it The Great 8 Challenge + 8 Years Of Blogging!

It’s a great post because you list eight powerful things that have happened to you over the last eight years. (There is a link to this post in The Show Notes for anyone who wants to read it.)

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I thought each of these eight things was great. I wanted to touch on the second one which you call ”Prove All The Haters Wrong.” It’s a thing that you discovered over this time.

You wrote:

”I don’t have a lot of haters, but there are some people in my life and even a little voice in my own head who didn’t think I could do what I always wanted to do.” 

”Being an independent writer, not answering to a boss or going into an office every day.”

”Through the power of the internet, I’ve been able to make my ideal work scenario a reality.” ”I used to spend nights crying about going into the office.” ”I remember one guy, in particular saying something along the lines of…”  

”That’s life get used to!

” Because of this site, I didn’t have to get used to living a life that I hated.”

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So Dani, even though it’s been eight years of blogging, do you still find yourself marvelling at how the internet has provided so much opportunity for us?

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Dani DiPirro: Definitely.

I could not imagine life without the internet.

Knowing the type of person that I am, I ultimately would have found some other way to be more creative because I was working in marketing and it wasn’t really creative enough for me.

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I also am a very independent person. I think I always would have struggled a little bit with the typical work scenario and I think in the past there were avenues for people to do different things and not be as traditional.

But obviously with the internet and the growth of it and all the amazing things that have come out of it. It’s definitely changed my life and I know the same for so many other people.

It’s changing the workforce in general. Whether it’s blogging or other things. Just people being able to be more flexible to work from different places.

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I think there are amazing benefits of the internet.

I also feel there are some negative things when it comes to being positive and mindful and how it can present a lot of distractions. Especially when your job involves going on the internet or doing research it’s very easy to get distracted.

But overall, I definitely can’t imagine life without it. I had the internet when I was younger but it wasn’t the same as it is today and it’s amazing and I love it and I’m very pro-internet.

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What Counsel Do You Have For People That Need the Kind Of Freedom That Only Blogging Can Give Them?

Matthew Loomis: Absolutely.

I hear from people all the time that want to do what you’ve done.

They’re in a job situation. They’re miserable. They dream of working for themselves. They love to write but they feel stuck…

What would you say to those folks?

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Dani DiPirro: I would say first of all.

You have to have something that you’re passionate about and I think being good at it is important. 

I think I’m a good writer, I don’t think I’m the best writer in the world but I think obviously you have to have some level of skill. I wouldn’t say ”everybody can do what I do.” There is definitely a level of skill involved.

But I think more importantly it’s PASSION behind it.

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And I think people sometimes don’t understand the flip-side of having a blog or having an online business. How much work goes into it.

How much you have to do when you have a traditional job. You don’t have to worry a lot of times about finding your own healthcare or doing your taxes. All these other things that to be honest I didn’t think that much about going into it.

There are so many aspects to it that I just wish I had the normal job sometimes.

Even the fact that the things that I hated about my job like having a boss and having somebody tell me what to do. That was something I really didn’t like but now sometimes I’m like ”oh I wish I had somebody to hold me accountable.”

Because when you’re doing everything yourself you can say ”oh I’ll do it tomorrow or I’ll get to it then or …” There are definitely challenges.

I feel that it is very important to know yourself well. Know what your strengths are. Know what your weaknesses are.

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Definitely, save a lot of money you have to factor that in. That’s part of the stuff that I don’t love doing. I don’t love the financial stuff or the numbers.

If you don’t have that in line then you can’t do the other part.

Or you can’t do it as well because you’re constantly worried. Or you’re focusing on things that you know aren’t the best use of your time.

Another important thing with that is the idea of considering outsourcing things that you’re not good at so that you can focus on the things that you excel at.

Not trying to do every single thing yourself. Maybe starting out sometimes you have to but I guess recognising your strengths and limitations is really important.

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If you want to do that and really understanding what’s involved. Because I think a lot of people think ”oh it so fun you just sit at your house and write all day, it’s amazing.”

Matthew Loomis: In their pyjamas, right?

Dani DiPirro: Yes. I am actually in my pyjamas now so…

Matthew Loomis: Oh. 🙂

Dani DiPirro: Sometimes it can be true.

I always read tonnes of things where people are like ”you should always get dressed every day.”

I’m like ” I’m gonna do that but I’m so comfortable.” So that is a plus you can work in your pyjamas. Depending on what you do.

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And if you have outside meetings and stuff but…

I think another factor that people don’t always consider is the amount of time you spend alone. This can differ, some people go to work where there is a communal workspace. Depending on the job or the type of blog you have.

You might go out interviewing people or interacting with people.

But what I do, I spend the majority of the time by myself and for me that’s amazing. That’s ideal. I’ll be fine being by myself all the time. But for a lot of people, they wouldn’t like that as much as they think.

You’re thinking ”oh co-workers are so annoying and stuff.” But for a lot of people and it all depends on where you fall on the introverted extroverted spectrum. Being at home all the time by yourself can be stressful and draining in a way that you might not expect.

Keeping that in mind and your personality type as you go into blogging is really important as well.

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At What Age Did You Discover You Loved To Write?

Matthew Loomis: I’m glad you brought up the introversion-extroversion spectrum.

I was going to ask you about that.

That is a really good point because I tend to be more on the introverted spectrum as well but I have learned that I like to have the occasional interaction with real live people.

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Even though I enjoy working for myself and by myself. That’s just something that I like to find and schedule and find some time to do once in a while.

Dani, how young were you when you noticed that you had a passion for writing?

Dani DiPirro: I would say five.

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Matthew Loomis: Oh. Wow!

Dani DiPirro: I can remember the first story that I wrote.

I still think about it and I’m like ”oh I’m so proud of that!” It was a silly story that had one sentence and probably didn’t even make sense. But it’s always been something that I liked and I kept a journal a young as seven.

I started keeping a journal and it’s always been a passion of mine.

Just words in general. Reading is also something that I really love and on my Instagram. I do a lot of quotes and inspiration. It doesn’t have to be a story for me to write it I think any kind of writing or creativity with the written word has always been appealing to me.

Whether it’s something I’m creating or whether it’s something that somebody else is creating. I just love it and I thinks it’s really important.

I think words are really really powerful!

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What Do You Love Writing About and What Is Your Message To the World?

Matthew Loomis: Absolutely.

Let’s talk a little bit about content creation.

What types of posts do you enjoy creating the most?

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Dani DiPirro: I enjoy creating the most posts that are relevant to something going on specifically.

I don’t write about current events or pop culture.

But I do feel like if there is something that’s very relevant in my own life like the post I just wrote this week and ”news anxiety” and feeling overwhelmed by so much inundation with news and stress over it.

It’s really relevant to me and it resonates with me and then I find that those are the posts where I really get the most from other people.

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Whether it’s interaction or people just emailing me and saying ”oh look I can relate to this.” So it’s generally something that where I feel there are some posts where I’m like ”okay this is an interesting topic.”

I’d want to write about it and I will. But it won’t necessarily be relevant at that particular moment. The ones that are really poignant to me at that time tend to be the most successful posts and the most enjoyable to write and create.

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When Did You Discover That You Loved To Be Creative?

Matthew Loomis: When did you learn that you had a passion for design.

How long ago was that?

Dani DiPirro: When I was a kid I used to design things on my computer all the time.

I would make little logos for myself.

The logo that I have now with Positively Present is actually stemmed from the logo that I made for myself as a kid. 

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Why I made a logo for myself as a kid I have no idea, I don’t know what I thought. I don’t know what I needed it for.

Matthew Loomis: That’s interesting.

Dani DiPirro: So it’s certainly been a life-long thing.

I guess I’m not a traditional artist.

So I never really went that route in terms of school. I took a few art classes in high school and college. But I was never like ”oh I could be an artist.” I never really knew what graphic design entailed with the rise of the internet and stuff and access to design programs has changed my life tremendously.

When I was younger I never really thought of that as a career path because I can’t draw realistic things. Like some people do, you see this major thing like artworks in galleries and you’re like ”oh I’m not that kind of artist.”

So I never really thought about pursuing that until I was working on Positively Present. When I left my job to go full time I started at first to use images that I found on the internet.

I just sourced them or maybe added a quote on top or something.

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The more I started doing that the more I was ”oh I could create my own things.”

Then I started playing around with photography or taking a couple of design classes online. The more I did that the more I was like ”wow I’m really passionate about this too.”

I love creating things and I especially love creating things that go with what I’m writing about.

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And making it unique and not using something that somebody else has created. The more I did that the more and more I just started taking classes and actually learning how to do it.

Then recently I got an iPad Pro. That is the best thing in terms of hand-lettering and really quick graphic design that’s already digital. You don’t have to scan anything in or anything like you would if you hand drew something.

I guess it’s been a life long thing but in terms of actually bringing it into my career and making it something that is part of the blog that happened after I left my full-time job.

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Tell Us About Your Recent Website Twenty 3

Matthew Loomis: You are so passionate about the visuals that you actually started a design business.

Is that right?

Dani DiPirro: Yes. I did.

It’s called – TWENTY 3

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I do graphic design and in fact, that’s where a lot of my income actually comes from now is more of the design projects.

Which is a great point about blogging, that if anybody is thinking about starting a blog you kind of don’t know where it will go.

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And that’s the cool thing about it unless you’re a very specific thing but I found that you can go down a different path if the ideas or the opportunities present themselves to you.

I would never really thought ”oh I have this design business on top of the blog.”

That’s one of the cool things about the internet. That’s one of the cool things about being a creative person is not limiting yourself.

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As I mentioned before the whole idea of like ”oh I’m not really an artist” I struggled with that for a long time because I don’t find myself to be a traditional artist and I didn’t go to school for it which I think a lot of people consider ”oh if you didn’t go to school for graphic design then you can’t be a graphic designer.”

But that’s untrue and probably untrue about other things as well.

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Obviously, when it comes to for example being a doctor or a lawyer or something you probably need to go to school for that and have a degree.

There are a lot of things out there especially with the access that we have today. Is that people can learn and explore different avenues while they’re working on whatever they’re currently doing.

When I was writing I was learning about graphic design. Now I kind of merged them into one thing. There are probably tonnes of things like that that people can do with whatever they’re passionate about or interested in.

Matthew Loomis: That is really inspiring.

It’s the do-it-yourself economy. Really.

Dani DiPirro: Yeah.

Is Your Audience Mostly the Female Gender?

Matthew Loomis: Dani would you say that the majority of your audience is female?

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Or is there a balance?

Dani DiPirro: Yeah.

The majority is definitely female.

I would say maybe 25% male.

Do You Intentionally Target the Female Audience?

Matthew Loomis: Okay I was just curious.

Your visuals and your branding tend to appear that way.

Like you’re targeting more the female audience?

Dani DiPirro: I kind of just do what I like.

I’m actually surprised at the number of male audience members that I do have.

I also studied gender in graduate school so I am very aware that the things that I am saying now are stereotypical. But it does lean towards the stereotypical look of what you would think a female person would like.

Obviously, that’s not always the case, and the content I don’t generally write anything that is female focused. I don’t write about… I’m not a mum so I don’t write about motherhood like that would be an example of something.

I don’t write about fashion. It’s female-focused. Sometimes I will mention things like ”I like this shirt” or something. But for the most part, it’s gender-neutral content.

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And the design tends to really be… I don’t even think it’s really female. I think it’s just colourful.

I don’t use a lot of flowery things because I don’t really like that stuff personally.

It’s more just like colourful things. I guess.

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Matthew Loomis: That is true.

And you make a good point.

When I visited your blog there is plenty of content there that any male would find helpful and useful and good.

I just wanted to make sure that if any guys are listening…

Dani DiPirro: Yeah.

If you’re a guy you’ll still like it!

Matthew Loomis: Absolutely.

You should still visit Positively Present Dot Com.

What Exactly Is Self-Love?

Dani, I want to spend some time on the topic of self-love or loving yourself.

This is something that you’ve written about a lot. And you wrote a book entitled – Loving Yourself An Empowering Workbook For Increasing Self-Love.

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Let’s start there and talk about it as it applies to bloggers.

First, let’s talk about what exactly self-love is. Can you define that for us or share how you define that.

Dani DiPirro: I believe that self-love is about acceptance with oneself.

This doesn’t mean that you think everything about yourself is great.

I think we should always be changing growing open to new ideas. Open to tweaking aspects of ourselves that aren’t ideal.

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So self-love isn’t just saying everything about me is amazing and I’m so awesome.

Self-love is about accepting where you are. It’s kind of a mindfulness but applying it to yourself. 

It’s like ”okay this is where I am maybe I want to be somewhere different maybe I want to break this habit or maybe I want to do this in the future and I’m going to work on that.”

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But for the most part, you are trying to make the most of who you are where you are. And in particular, make choices that are good for you.

Whether that’s people you spend your time with. What you do for a career. How you spend your money. How you spend your time like your free time. What you do for hobbies.

A lot of people always do things because they’ve done them or because they are easy.

I think that self-love is about exploring how things make you feel.

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”The Key Thing In Self-Love Is Paying Attention To How You Feel.” – Dani DiPirro

And assessing whether or not things are really good for you and making you a better person.

Matthew Loomis: I think you could say it’s about caring for yourself.

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Dani DiPirro: Yes. Exactly.

I think there is the act of self-care.

Which I think people talk a lot about, which to me is more of the little everyday things you can do.

Like if you’re having a stressful day then you take some time out and you take a relaxing bath or you do whatever is relaxing for you.

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That type of thing I think is more self-care.

Self-love to me is a bigger thing, that is as you say about ”caring for yourself as a whole.”

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I think a lot of people struggle with this. Actually, my next book is all about self-love so I’ll be talking about that in my next book.

But one of the things that are troublesome is a lot of what we see in society whether it be in advertising or in films in music. Even for people around us is encouraging us not to love ourselves.

Because that’s how things sell.

If you feel for example ”oh I need to have this certain look of fashion and clothes in order to be my best self. ” Then you’re going to buy those things to make yourself feel better.

Or ”I need to go on this special diet so that I feel this way or that way.”

A lot of stuff sells to us in society, like the idea of  ”don’t love yourself because you need this thing to make yourself  love yourself.”

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So it’s very challenging to access that self-love. But I think being a personal blogger has been really eye-opening in that way because I do write a lot about my personal experiences and it’s given me a chance to be more introspective.

I hope to encourage other people to do that regardless of what they do for a living.

Won’t People Think I am Being Self-Centered If I said ” I Love Myself?”

Matthew Loomis: Okay Dani let me play Devil’s advocate here.

Isn’t self-love a selfish self-absorbed thing to do?

Dani DiPirro: I’m glad you brought that up.

It is not! And I think a lot of people struggle with it for that reason.

They think ”oh I shouldn’t be so obsessed with myself.” Or ”I shouldn’t be worrying so much about myself.” ”I should be more selfless and care about other people.”

Which I think is great. I think caring about other people is very important.

But… I think that it is very difficult to love anything whether it’s your job. Whether it’s your family members. Whether it’s your loved ones… Anybody. If you don’t love yourself first.

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Because you’re always in this internal battle within yourself. And feeling… It’s almost like an unsettled feeling. A lot of people feel it and they are not sure why.

Even if they have all the pieces in place in their life puzzle. They might not feel good and a lot of that is because they don’t feel good about themselves.

The better you feel about yourself the better you are at what you do. The better your relationships are with other people.

A lot of obviously comparison and jealousy and envy. Those things come from not being in a place of peace with yourself.

That can strain relationships. No matter how much you care about somebody.

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It’s hard if you don’t love where you are and who you are not to be envious if they are getting something that you wish you had.

Those things put a strain on relationships even if they’re not spoken. Even if you keep it inside it definitely affects things.

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My argument for that is the more you love yourself the better you are at loving other people and there is a huge difference between loving yourself and being narcissistic.

I think people struggle with understanding the difference between those two things. But loving yourself doesn’t mean that you think that you’re better than other people.

It’s a separate internal thing.

It’s not ”I’m so awesome that I’m better than all these other people.”

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It’s ”I’m so awesome ALL these other people are awesome too!”

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Whereas a lot of times I feel like people are saying ”oh all these other people are awesome I’m never going to be good enough.”

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It doesn’t have to be either or EVERYBODY CAN BE AWESOME!

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Matthew Loomis: That’s a great philosophy!

I agree with what you said there.

It seems like a lot of times people that are really JERKS?

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You find out that they don’t really love themselves!

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Dani DiPirro: Definitely.

I think anytime somebody is lashing out or treating other people badly it really is something a lot of times that had been done to them that makes them feel bad.

And they try to make themselves feel better by putting other people down.

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Matthew Loomis: Absolutely.

Dani DiPirro: They get this little boost of ”oh I’m better than this person.”

You see a lot of that especially online when people can be anonymous or they can say whatever they want. You don’t really have that face-to-face interaction.

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But it’s definitely something I think that a lot of people struggle with. And you can see it. You can see people who feel at peace with themselves who aren’t trying to compete with other people.

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It doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. It doesn’t mean that you can’t dress well or do whatever you want to do. But I think it’s important whether we are talking about positivity or self-love or any of these things.

Do you really think about how it is for you? Because it’s not like a one-size-fits-all thing like ”oh do this one thing and you’re going to feel better about yourself!”

As I mentioned before. I think that is what people are trying to sell us. ”buy this product or have this lifestyle and then you’re going to love yourself.”

It’s really an internal thing.

If you don’t work on internal stuff you are going to struggle a lot. No matter what you buy and no matter what relationship you’re in.

No matter what you do for a living you’re still not going to be happy. So you have to work on the internal stuff if you want to have a good lasting relationship with yourself.

Honestly, that’s the only person that you are guaranteed to be with all the time.

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And I think we don’t always think about it like that. We’re like ”oh we got to work on our relationship with our partner or our friendships or our co-workers!”

Which are all great and important but you’re the only person that you’re with all the time.

You have this inner dialogue going on at all moments and you take it for granted and think ”oh this is just me.” But you know you can get more in touch with yourself and it really does help other aspects of your life.

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Matthew Loomis: It’s especially important for us self-employed people, right?

”You’ve gotta love yourself.”

Dani DiPirro: Yeah. It definitely is.

You have to and you have to be able to be around yourself.

Especially going back to the point of spending a lot of time alone. You’re going to hear that inner voice in your head all the time.

You want it to be something that’s encouraging you and helping you to move forward. Not that it’s going to be that way all the time. I haven’t found a way for it to be yet.

Matthew Loomis: Right.

Dani DiPirro: I think being aware of your thoughts is really important.

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Do You Think When We Feel Unloved We Put Our Talents On Hold?

Matthew Loomis: Dani, do you think self-love affects people’s willingness to try something new.

Like starting a blog?

Dani DiPirro: DEFINITELY!

I think you have to be in a place where you believe that you have a chance at some success.

Whether that’s ”oh your friends and family will read this blog” or whether it’s ”I’m going to make a business out of this.” You have to believe that you have something to say.

I believe without that self-love it’s going to be challenging to even begin.

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That’s another great benefit of self-love when you feel like you’re doing the right things for you. You can be more successful at blogging.

No matter what kind of blog you have because you’re willing to take risks. You’re willing to put yourself out there a little bit more.

That’s one of the things that really works best when it comes to blogging is being AUTHENTIC.

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No matter what topic you’re talking about. People can tell if you’re being REAL.

Or if you’re just making lists that you copied from somewhere else or on the internet or something. Anyone could have a blog.

But what makes certain blogs more successful than others is the real people that are behind them and channelling that voice.

Whether you’re talking about self-help or whether you’re talking about something that to me would be most dull like a financial blog or something.

You still can have a voice in there. That’s part of the point of blogging rather than like ”okay these are facts!”

You kind of add that authenticity in there and that’s really where the success comes from. But it’s hard to put that out there if you don’t feel like your voice is worth hearing.

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How Can We Come To Realise That Not Loving Yourself Actually Robs You Of Your Potential To Become Great?

Matthew Loomis: Dani if somebody is hesitating with going into blogging.

Do you have any tips on how they can determine how it is actually a lack of self-love that’s keeping themselves from putting themselves out there and starting a blog?

How can they determine that it is a self-love deficit?

Dani DiPirro: I think you have to think about why you’re hesitating.

If you’re hesitating, for example, you’re worried that people will judge you or they won’t like it?

That all comes from looking for external validation from other people and you should be thinking about why you’re doing something.

For me, I started my blog because of a mix of wanting to help other people and wanting to help myself at the same time. I knew that even if no one read the blog like you know when it started out not many people were reading it.

I was doing something that was working for me and helping me become a better person.

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So if you don’t have that. If you don’t have some sort of feeling that what you’re doing is good for you? It’s going to be hard to put things out there and feel that you are proud of your work or that your work is in some way useful and helping the world.

Even if you’re only helping yourself.

I think everybody is going to be a little worried if you’re doing a blog or putting anything out there in the world. That it won’t be accepted or it won’t be enjoyed the way you want it to be.

But you have to take a risk and push those thoughts away from you a little.

Take small steps. You don’t have to launch some crazy endeavour right away. You can start a free site right now. Put something out there see how it goes. Maybe share it with some people that you trust. Get some feedback… You don’t have to go all in right away.

Matthew Loomis: I’m glad you brought that up.

I was just telling some folks in an email that blogging is one of the best and least expensive forms of therapy you can find.

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Dani DiPirro: 🙂

So TRUE.

It really is. Especially if you’re in my industry where your writing about self-help stuff.

It definitely is a great way to learn more about yourself. And don’t be put off by ”oh I’m not a writer.” Or ”oh I’m not this or I’m not that.”

Think about the example that I had before with the design stuff. I wasn’t trained as a designer but now I do it. You can find ways to get better at it.

I’m sure there are probably classes online that you can take for writing if you think ”oh I’m not great at writing.” Or there are classes that you can take on learning how to blog and be a better blogger.

So I feel that people need to use the resources that are out there for any areas that they might feel that they are weak in. Or they feel that they’re holding themselves back or whatever.

I bet there are even classes to build your confidence.

So wherever you feel like you are struggling then seek out a way to get better at that.

Don’t just say ”oh well I’m not good at this.” Part of the reason why you’re not good at it maybe is because you haven’t tried it. Or you tried it once and you didn’t do great  and then you’re like ”oh I can’t do it.”

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People that are good at things it’s a cliche but it’s true. It’s because they work at it.

The design work, for example, I didn’t suddenly say ”oh now I know how to use these really complicated design programs.”

I worked a lot I took two classes online and practised and practised and practised because I liked it.

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But that applies to anyone whether it’s blogging or life. You’ve got to practice that’s how people become good at it. You can start anytime. That’s another thing too.

A lot of people try to restrict themselves with the time thing like ”oh I’m too old.” Or ”I don’t have enough hours in the day.”

If you want something badly enough you can do it no matter where you are in your life and how much time you have!

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People make it work all the time that have five kids somehow they do it and you can do it too!

Matthew Loomis: Yeah! That is so well said man!!!

I have two kids so…

Dani DiPirro: So it’s true.

You’re doing things!

Matthew Loomis: I’m doing things. Right!

Dani DiPirro: So I feel like there is almost everything and I can’t think of them all right now…

But I mean ANY restriction you place on yourself is internal and you can overcome it in some way.

It won’t always be easy but if you want something badly enough you can find a way to do it.

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How Can People Work On Loving Themselves More?

Matthew Loomis: Dani you talked about going out and learning new things.

What are some other things a few other tips that people can do to raise their own self-love?

Dani DiPirro: The most important thing is to think about the people in your life.

This is something that I discovered when I was starting Positively Present.

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Is how important the people around you are and there are a lot of people that you are going to get a lot of negative vibes from that don’t make you feel good.

The best way that I have tried to figure this out is that when I spend time with somebody. After I leave that person’s presence like ”how do I feel?” 

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A lot of the times it’s very clear. You either feel drained stress like ”oh that was a lot I need to lay down.” OR you feel like ”oh wow that was fun!” And I laughed a lot with that person I had a really good time.

Obviously, I’m not saying that every moment with every person’s going to be great. You are going to have bad moments with people especially if you live with them.

Or you’re with them all the time. You’re going to get in fights and that’s just life.

But overall ”how does that person make you feel?”

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You will find that some people are not making you feel good. Those people you’ve got to get rid of that’s a self-loving thing!

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Now. You can’t always get rid of them completely. If it’s somebody in your family that you have to see or somebody that you work with like a co-worker and you’ve got to work with them?

In those cases, you can limit your time with them.

Or try to learn something from them.

Or learn something from the interaction to make it positive for yourself.

There are some people especially if it’s an acquaintance or if you’re doing freelance work or something and it’s a client that’s really negative that you don’t have to always be around.

You can choose to make those decisions and it’s not always an easy thing to do but the people around you are very important.

Also how you spend your time. There are a lot of people myself included that spend a lot of time online. Doing things that probably aren’t the most productive or the most fulfilling.

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Sometimes it is tempting to be like ”let me just go down this rabbit hole of Twitter and look at all these tweets for four hours.” And that’s fine every once in a while there is nothing wrong with that.

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But I think being mindful of how you spend your time and how it makes you feel. You really only have a certain amount of time in a day. A lot of people are saying ”oh I don’t have time to do the things I want.” Okay, but did you have time to scroll through Facebook for an hour?

Maybe your could use that time for something else and just be very aware of what’s going on. Whether it’s what you’re doing or who you are with.

Your thought pattern that takes practice.

If you are just getting started on a self-love journey you’ve never really thought about it before? It’s not going to come overnight. It’s not going to be ”oh I fixed everything!” It’s an ongoing thing.

The way to channel that and keep working on it all the time is to really cultivate awareness of what things are making you feel like.

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Even your own thoughts. Is the thought waking up and being like ”I have such a stressful day today there are all these meetings that I don’t want to go to.”

Is that HELPFUL? Not really!

You’re still going to have the meetings. Having that attitude is holding you back.

A lot of us don’t even realise that. We don’t even think ”oh I’m having this thought that I could maybe change if I wanted to.” And make it a little better.

Like ”oh this is going to be a stressful day but I’m going to make the best of it!” 

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”Tomorrow I’ve got a free day and I can’t wait for that!” Kind of that attitude would be better it’s not going to change things but it will make it better.

You Mentioned You Have a New Book That Covers This Topic – Self-Love?

Matthew Loomis: That’s good stuff.

You’re such a good resource on Self-love.

You said you got a new book coming out on this?

Dani DiPirro: I do.

I’m in the process of writing it.

I don’t have a date when it going to be released quite excited about it because it’s a topic that I feel really passionate about.

I think it is important for people to recognise what self-love is.

You brought up the point about it being selfish and to understand that it’s not and also see the benefits of it.

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It’s going to have Workbook elements in it. So people can use it to actually take action and to write down their thoughts in there. So it’s not just like ”oh read my words and figure it out.”

It will be more like ” here’s some ideas” and ”write this down here” and ”think about this.” So that people can take what I’m saying and what I’ve learned and try to apply it to their own lives.

Which is really the goal of what I do at Positively Present.

In general, I want to make what I do something that people can use. We are not all me and we can’t do everything exactly the way that I do it, or feel the way that I do. So I like to create things that people can say  ”well alright how do I feel about this aspect to my life?”

”Maybe I can hear about Dani’s tips and apply that to where I am in my situation.”

So that’s my goal with this upcoming book. Also, a lot of my previous books have the same kind of feeling.

Matthew Loomis: There is a link in The Show Notes to Dani’s Amazon Author Page.

Also, Dani if somebody wants to keep track of the book and how it’s coming along and when it’s coming out.

Should they go to your website and opt-in or what should they do?

Dani DiPirro: Yes.

Positively Present is a great resource.

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Stay Positive : Daily Reminders from Positively PresentThe Positively Present Guide to Life

Every Day Matters Pocket Diary 2017: A Year of Inspiration for the Mind, Body and SpiritEvery Day Matters 2016 Pocket Diary

And Instagram is something that I love a lot. That’s where I tend to share things that are upcoming. Or little sneak peeks of things.

That is also on my blog right at the top there is a little Instagram button so you can follow along there.

Where Can We Follow Dani DiPirro Oline?

Matthew Loomis: People can follow you on Instagram.

Is there anywhere else?

Dani DiPirro: Oh yes!

Every social media platform. I’m into it!

All those buttons are on the top of Positively Present Dot Com as well.

There is Facebook. Pinterest is another one as we talked about before I really love the visual stuff.

So Instagram and Pinterest are my most popular ones. Facebook and Twitter,  I’m not such a huge fan of them as much but I do have them but anything visual is really good for me.

Then obviously the blog for reading the full blog posts. When you are following along on those other sites it will always alert you that I have a new blog post so then you can always go check it out.

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How Has Blogging Changed Dani’s Life?

Matthew Loomis: That’s great!

Dani, before you go.

I want to circle back to my last question which I like to ask my guests and the question is.

HOW HAS BLOGGING CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

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Dani DiPirro:

Blogging has changed my life in every aspect.

Part of it is because of the type of blogging that I do.

Like we talked about like the personal growth and the stuff that’s very much an internal thing for me. What I write about impacts how I feel about myself and how I feel about life.

It has also changed very tangible things as well like my career. I would have never imagined that I would go down the path that I’m on.

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When I was younger I definitely thought ”oh I want to be a writer.” I envisioned maybe a journalist approach or writing novels because we didn’t have blogs when I was a kid so I didn’t even know.

There is something so wonderful about blogging that I think anybody’s who’s considering it is aware of ”that’s freedom!”

When you’re running a blog you have the freedom!

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For the most part, depending on the kind of blog I guess but to write about what you want when you want It’s instant which is so cool because when you think about back in the day ”oh I want to write this article.” He’s got to send it into a newspaper. See if it can get published or even if you worked for a newspaper. Maybe they didn’t like the idea whatever.

But with blogging, you can write anything you want anytime.

You can incorporate new things, for example, the self-love aspect that’s a huge part of my blog now. When I started out I didn’t really… I mean I thought about self-love personally but it wasn’t part of my brand.

So you can expand. You can grow. You can try different things and I think that’s one of the things that I think is so valuable about blogging is.

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Not matter what you’re interested in you can combine it and create things that are relevant to you and help you with your own internal growth.

It will also help other people and people will relate and be excited by the things that excite you!

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Because even though we are all unique. There are certain aspects that we all connect on. Having the freedom to write about and do what I want is one of the greatest things about the blog.

I think that’s one of the greatest things about blogging in general because anyone can start one right now and do anything they want with it and it can turn out to change your life. 

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So if you’re thinking of starting a blog I would highly recommend doing it and just see how it goes. Don’t be overwhelmed.

It doesn’t have to be this huge crazy business right off the bat.

Maybe that’s your end goal but even if it’s just a hobby. It’s really enjoyable. And it’s great to have the freedom to do what you want.

So Yeah. Do it!

Matthew Loomis: Well said.

Dani DiPirro: Thank you!

Matthew Loomis: Dani, thanks for coming on The Blog Chronicles today and sharing your story with us.

Dani DiPirro: You’re welcome.

Thank you so much for having me.

The Show Notes

Dani DiPirro – Positively Present 

Dani DiPirro – Loving Yourself – A Brand New Self-Love Workbook

Dani DiPirro – Amazon Author Page – Books -Biography -Blog -Audiobooks -Kindle

Dani DiPirro – Twenty 3

Dani DiPirro – Blog – Sivana East

Dani DiPirro – The Great 8 Challenge + 8 Years Of Blogging!

Dani on Instagram

Dani on Facebook

Dani on Twitter

Dani on Pinterest

Dani on YouTube

Matthew Loomis – How To Overcome Your Fears About Blogging – Blog Therapy From a Real Blogging Therapist

 

Thank’s For Tuning Into This Episode of The Blog Chronicles.

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I’ll see you next time!

Matthew Kaboomis Loomis is the owner of Build Your Own Blog. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

 

4 comments

  1. Ryan Biddulph   •  

    Hi Matthew and Dani,

    Love the advice to change your overall vibe. Feelings are transitory. Change is constant. Yet if you choose love above fear – making the choice habitual – you begin to love yourself. Long term. Since we are connected as One, loving yourself means you begin to love the Whole. Even if you hated aspects of others – aka, yourself – in the past.

    I love me more than ever because I love God more than ever, and in so doing, I love and accept myself. Loving God and me helps me love others. Loving helps me spread love – aka serve and help – which makes life fun, and blogging fun, and business fun….all pretty dang independent of circumstances.

    Fun stuff guys.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Ryan

  2. Clare Newbury   •  

    This was very interesting and inspiring. I have trouble with all the colors, different sized fonts, and pictures, which cause me to have to read things several times in order to “get” them, so it took me a while to get through the whole piece. That may be because I’m a 70-year-old dinosaur and I haven’t gotten used to the way things are presented electronically. I am more comfortable with black letters against a white background, all the same font, with indented paragraphs, which seems almost like an obsolete way of writing these days. But I love the blog title, and the overall message, and the various aspects and angles covered.

    I am an introvert, and I love spending time by myself. I don’t think I have ever been lonely. But many’s the time I have wished I could escape from some social event where I am surrounded by 4 or more people. I have a number of very close friends, but for the most part they don’t get along with each other, so I don’t tend to invite them all to my house at the same time. They all know to call ahead, and not just drop in on me.

    My many odd jobs keep me very busy, with little time to spare for my writing projects. There is necessary and immediate money to be made editing other people’s manuscripts, so I often end up doing that, which I enjoy very much, rather than writing my own stuff, which I also enjoy very much. I am certainly not in a dismal job that I hate and want to get out of. I hope one of these days to fit blogging into my life. I find your posting, Dani, and Matthew’s as well, very insightful and helpful. Thank you.

  3. Harriet   •  

    So how do I become a blogger ? And can I write short stories?

  4. Kevin Namaky   •  

    Thanks for a great interview. Dani, your story is inspiring. So glad you had the courage to do what you love. You are helping others do the same.

    Many times in life, doing good for yourself and others takes bravery and courage. It’s not easy, but your story will inspire others.

    Kevin

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